13 Igreja do Carmo, Ouro Preto, Minas Gerais
INSTRUCTIONS from Walter Fabisah Jr:
1 - First go to your profile, where it has your name and boxes saying 'WALL' 'INFO' 'PHOTO' and etc. Click on the big + and select NOTES to be added, if not showing, write notes then select it. Once this step is done, you showed see 'Info' 'Wall', 'Photos', 'Notes'. Notes should appear.
2 - Click on Notes and you will see a button to the left saying 'write a new note' click on this button.
3 - This is where you can cut the 25 you already wrote, along with the instructions, and paste into the note body. You can give it your title '25 random things about me, or not so random, or...'
4 - To the right there is a box for you to tag the 25 people for this project, including me.
5 - When you are completely done, click on the 'Publish' button.
6 - You can set the note's privacy to only your friend. That is what I did.
7 - Start enjoying the comments people will start leaving you about your notes.
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Rules:
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner, then click publish.)
1. Born August 10, 1954 in Concord, North Carolina. Third and middle son of Fred and Mariruth Hawkins. I have two older brothers, one your sister, and one younger brother. My father was the Minister of Religious Education and a local Southern Baptist Church. He was appointed in 1955 to be the Director of the Brazilian Sunday School Board. We arrived in Brazil on August 6, 1955… four days before my first birthday. I learned to walk onboard the SS Eva Peron.
2. We first lived in Campinas, São Paulo but moved to Rio sometime around June or July of 1955.
3. December 1959 we returned to the US for a year of furlough. Those trips onboard ships that did double duty as cargo ships and passenger ships were always very fun.
4. We returned to Brazil in December 1960. I remember the train ride to New Orleans but not much before then.
5. Sometime around 1961-1962 we changed houses. The new house was one of two new mission houses on Homem de Melo Street just downhill from the Seminary and just around the corner from the Baptist School. Our neighbor and my dearest friend was Jes Sutton. We used to jump the wall between our houses to pay on the solid rock hill that made up a big part of our back yards.
6. When we got back to Brazil, I had forgotten Portuguese. For that reason and the fact that Brazilian schools did not recognize any education other than their own, I was held back and did the first grade over. That means I did half a year in Brazil, half a year in the US, half a year of second grade in the US, and then another half a year of the first grade in Brazil. This also happened in the 4th-5th and 8th - 9th grades.
7. My father was a very creative man, always trying to find new ways to improve the Sunday Schools of Brazilian Baptist Churches. He even had a little shop in our house where he made wooden toys such as block and jigsaw puzzles. My memory of him as a father is mixed. While he could be warm and involve us in his work, he could also be distant and over involved in his work. I do remember him taking me to the doctor when my sister slammed the door on my finger and when I had my tonsils removed. Probably the only pre 1960 memories I have were those two trips and the train ride to New Orleans.
8. My memories of my mother are only positive. She had a wonderful sense of humor and laugher often. I can still remember her laughter. She was warm and loving even though her time was shared between 4 children. Throughout her life, she told the story of my birth. When she was coming out of the anesthetic, the doctor told her that I was a boy. Her reply was: "Another crazy boy". I am not sure how that story influenced me but certainly it did.
9. In 1963, my young brother was born. I remember going to the hospital to get him and Mom. We children sat in the car because children were not allowed in the hospital.
10. I always knew that when I graduated from "High School" (equivalent to the 8th or 9th grade in the US) I would return to the US for college. This was not open for discussion; it was the thing MKs did. Those that chose to stay were somehow rebellious and not as good as us. I thought that my behavior had an impact on my parent's mission. If I misbehaved, my actions would have a negative impact on their witness and ministry. Although I do not remember being told, I do remember feeling a lot of pressure to be a good boy. It is even hard for me to write this because I am afraid of "damaging" the reputation of my parents… specifically of my father.
11. I was baptized January 10, 1954 at the Tijuca Baptist Church. My decision to do so was not out of a conviction that I needed to so. At that time, my parents had decided to move to the interior of São Paulo and I did not want to be baptized in a river.
12. I was mischievous and did get my share of spankings. One in particular had a significant impact on me. We had a canary in a cage. On a windy day, I was playing with the canary's cage. My father told me not to. I did anyhow. I put the cage on the window sill. The wind blew the cage down and the canary got away. My father was very angry and took his belt and spanked me. I remember crying. After that spanking, I remember say to myself that next time he spanked me, I would not cry. True to my promise, the next and last time my father spanked me, I did not "give him the satisfaction" of crying. This was a promise that I kept until in my late twenties.
13. In 1964, we moved to Tupã, São Paulo. Tupã was a small city. It was like an old western city in the US with men on horseback coming to town. Our taxies were horse drawn carts. Although life was relatively primitive, it was also a safe place to live. I remember walking or riding my bike anywhere and not being in the least afraid. My father was the first director of the Brazilian Baptist Assembly. It was built on a farm that initially owned by a group of Latvians. The Latvians were an amazing people! The farm, Palma, had an electric dam way before many of the surround communities even had electricity.
14. In my senior year in High School (Ginasio, equivalent to middle school in the US), I was elected Class President. I was not a very good one since I could or would not participate in their parties because they would drink beer. I was not a part of the planning nor did I attend my Senior Party.
15. From graduation until I left for college in Aug 1982, I worked as an English teacher at a local language school during the evenings and traveled a lot. My most memorable trip was to Curumbá, Mato Grosso. I went with an older man. Sr Aquiles Toscky was a dear friends from church. He was a representative of a local show factory. His territory included all of what is now the state of Mato Grosso do Sul. We would stop along the way and look and the wind animals and fish. We stayed in small boarding homes along the way, asking the lady of the house to cook the fish we caught. Sr Tosque was my mentor and my friend.
16. When I was 13, I read a book about a missionary doctor. Although I did not want to be a doctor, I thought I heard God's call for me to do just that. I spent the next 5 years telling people that one day I would be a doctor because God wanted me to be. Unfortunately, my Brazilian education did not prepare me for college. I did not have the education or the skills. Although I studied very hard, I was not able to make the grades I needed. Having tunnel vision, I did not even think about returning to Brazil or going elsewhere to study.
17. In the summer of 1974, I was a BSU summer missionary at Bambi Lack Baptist Camp in Michigan. I meet Connie that fall. After graduating in 1976, we got married. I love her family and became the son they never had and they became the parents I so desperately needed. From Thanksgiving of 1974, I spent most weekends and holidays with Connie's family.
18. After failing to get into medical school, I studying Pharmacognosy (the branch of chemistry that studies medicines derived from natural sources) at Ohio State. I expected to be testing plants for new medicines. However, my major professor did not do that. Instead, he worked on synthesizing chemicals that had already been extracted and shown some signs of medical usefulness. After two years, I had only demonstrated the ways that particular chemical could NOT be synthesized. I was simply told that the grand would not be renewed for the next year. I began looking for a job and found one with Abbott Labs. My job was to test rubber and plastic components to make sure they did not react with the medications they contacted.
17. OK, this is long and, as much as I would like to just skip this, it is an extremely significant time in my life. In 1979, Connie became pregnant. We were very excited about the prospect of having a child. I went with her for a routine ultrasound. The technician was friendly and talkative at first but she suddenly stopped talking and became very serious. After a few minutes, she excused herself and went to get the doctor. He repeated the ultrasound. He left and got a second doctor. That doctor again did the ultrasound. After that, he turned to us and said: "We think your baby in anencephalic." I did not hear much after that. My mind raced through my knowing of Greek medical roots, prefixes, and suffixes: an=no, en= in, cephaly=head, ic=condition! Could this be right? My baby had no brain?? The doctor continued saying that they wanted to do more test but if the further tests conferment their suspicions, he recommended termination of the pregnancy. We drove home in total silence. At home, I went into one room and Connie into the other. That is when I broke my promise not to cry. As I retail this, I am crying and having to pause often. After some time alone, I went and got my medical dictionary and confirmed what I had translated. Connie and I got together and I expelled to her what anencephaly was. We called her parents first and they left at once on the 14 hour journey to be with us. We then called my parents who were in Brazil. When I heard my mother say "Alo", I lost it again and could not say anything but "Mom". I heard her say: "Jim? Is that you? Is something wrong?" I could not bring myself to say anything. Finally, Connie took the phone at told them. After a while, I was able to speak again. Unfortunately, within the week our fears were confirmed. In June of 1980, Connie made the very painful decision to terminate her pregnancy. We did everything that mental health professional say parents should do: We named her Sarah; we held her; we had a funeral for her. My parents paid for us to go to Brazil that next Christmas. If you are keeping tack, the death of Sarah was the third major blow to my faith within less than 7 years.
18. Elizabeth as born in 1981. In the year following her birth, I quit my job, was ordained, and made plans to attend The Southern Baptist Seminary. Since I did not have much experience in ministry, I started looking for a place where I could at least get a little before starting seminary. Connie found an announcement that the FMB was looking for a volunteer to be the temporary pastor at the International Baptist Church of Brasilia! At that time, my parents were living in Brasilia. We applied and after a lot of consideration and a decision to make an exception to several rules, our application was accepted. Shortly after Elizabeth's first birthday, we moved to Brasilia for nine months. There I learned that preaching was only one part of ministry in a church setting. I found that I really lacked counseling experience. Members came to me seeking guidance, comfort, advice, and help finding their way through difficult times and I did not have the resources to help. I decided to get a DMin with a focus on Pastoral Counseling. I did amazingly well in seminary!
19. Lauren was born in 1983. One of the seminary requirements was students had to take two practicum courses. My options were a classroom style course or Clinical Pastoral Education. In my mind, CPE was for Chaplains. I took the in classroom one and learned absolutely nothing other than that was a waste of my time. I put off taking the last of those practicums until my last semester. By then, I learned that there was a "CPE in a Church Setting". I took that and loved it! During that last semester, the church I pastored decided that when I left, they would disband. That was an extremely difficult time for those church members. CPE helped me to realize that my ministry to them was to help them honor their past mission, look at the present mission, and find their future mission in the work of the church.
20. After graduation, I took a second unit of CPE. All that was available was a hospital based CPE. Again, I loved it! I found in the hospital setting the combination of my interest in medicine AND my interest in being a minister. I applied for a resident position at a hospital in Houston and was accepted. Toward the middle of the third year, I was talking about going on and becoming a CPE supervisor. However, due to financial issues, that center had to discontinue its CPE Supervisor training program. By them, Connie was pregnant so I started to think that it was about time for me to get out on my own as a full-time chaplain. Steven was born in 1989. Shortly after that, I found a position at the Western Baptist Hospital in Paducah, KY.
21. In 1992, I was diagnosed with a primary Brain Cancer. While I did relatively well in my treatments and recovery, it did take an emotional toll on me. I struggled with mood swings since my late teens. Now the swings were very significant. At one point, the only thing that kept me from killing myself was distance from where I would do it. I knew exactly what I would do, where it would happen, and that my plan was fool proof. Fortunately, I recognized the signs and still had the strength to do something to prevent me from hurting myself. I called my Oncologist and good church friend and told him what was going on. He told me to "pray harder." After stressing the point that I really needed intervention, he arranged for me to see a psychiatrist the very next day. From that time forward, I have been on and off of meds a number of times. While sometimes I still think that my family and I would be better off if I died, I have never been that close to taking active action toward suicide.
22. Connie and I were growing further and further apart. While I was becoming more liberal and dissatisfied with the Southern Baptist Convention, she was growing more conservation. I still think that was the right thing for us to do. However, the divorced did lead to what I think was the biggest mistake of my life: moving away from my children.
23. Jenny and I got married the following year. We moved across the state from Paducah. I was never able to re-establish the same career or level of relationships in London that I had in Paducah. When Jenny lost her job, we were forced to move to Columbia, TN and live with my father. Jenny grew more and more dissatisfied and wanted to move closer to her friends in Memphis. However, that time I said NO. I did not know anyone in Memphis, it would put me further from my children, and I had now professional contacts there. She left supposedly on a temporary basis but within a month she applied for a divorce. Our marriage lasted less than 3 years.
24. In 2005, my cancer recurred. Unlike 1992, this time I had surgery, chemo, and radiation. The treatments worked and I have been cancer free since then. However, the cancer and treatments have left me disabled. I have balance problems, right-sided weakness, speech problems, and even some "black outs"… times when I do things that later I do not remember doing. I am also in danger of seizures. In fact, only since the beginning of October have I legally been able to drive due to seizures earlier this year. Upon my father's death in 2007, I inherited the house and I still live in it. Most of my outlet for ministry is the administration of The Cancer Forums, a worldwide, on line forum for people who have or had cancer, their families and friends, and for their care providers.
25. I am busy trying to scan the hundreds of the slides that my father left behind, editing his book about my maternal grandmother's family, and trying to pay the bills. My long term goal is to pay off my depts. I figure I will need to live until I am 100 in order to achieve this goal.
