Last Things

I woke up crying this morning after dreaming about going on a trip back to Brazil, the country where I grew up and still deeply love. In the dream, I was at the end of a visit with friends in my "home country." I woke up when I realized that might be my last trip to Brazil. After awaking, I realized that very likely I have already had that last trip back in 1996.

I love Arizona in the late winter and early spring . I have been to Phoenix 3 times... once when I was 12 years old and then twice within the last 10 years. I love Phoenix and would move there if it were not that it is too far away from my kids. Will I ever go back? Probably not.

Life is so full of those types of experiences. Having had cancer and at my age, I am so keenly aware of those opportunities. The last time I visited my Hawkins side of the family in North Carolina was well over 5 years ago. Have I made that trip for the last time? Will I ever visit Europe? Australia? (after all, I now have several friends Downunder ).

Palma in Brazil. There used to be a wooden dam at this place. Dad was the Director of the Baptist Camp located on this farm in the interior of São Paulo State.

EUROVISION SONG CONTEST

Over the last 2 years, I have become an absolute fan of the Eurovision Song Contest. For you who do not know about it began in the mid 50's and has been going on every year since then. Eurovision Television is an organization much like the Public Broadcasting System here in the US including over 43 countries in from England in the west to Israel in the east.

Each country selects on singer and song to go to the ESC (Eurovision Song Contest). They do it starting at different times. Some start as early as the fall before the finals sometime in May. Other, make their decisions over a smaller time. They also make their selections in different ways. Some use a jury of music experts. Most allow the public to cast votes over the phone or via text messages.

This is really the first year that I have followed the country selection process. The first year I only found out about it after it was over. Last year, I saw the finals on the Internet. This year, I am totally into it, watching all the country selections that are on ESCTV's broadcast over the internet. Below is a video of the winners for the last three years. You can tell that there is a great difference between them.

The country from which the winning song comes gets to host the contest the next year.

Elena Paparizou from Greece winner in 2005

Lordi from Finland winner in 2006

Marija Serifovic from Serbia winner in 2007

Could you see PBS promoting a contest like that? Maybe in time.

Spring is Coming

For two days in a row, I awoke to the chirping of birds signaling the return of spring. With their sweet, pre dawn melody, they sang about the end of the cold winter and the coming of the warmer spring. I looked out the window and noticed that the maple and oak trees are starting to sprout new growth. They cycle of life continues throughout the seasons.

At the end of March, the Christian world will celebrate Easter and the resurrection of the Christ. I do not think this is an accidental coincidence. Both the Resurrection and spring are messages from God about the never ending potential of Life from Death.

The Internet

Today was a particularly bad day in terms of my depression. I really do not know why. Maybe the dark, cold, rainy day had something to do with it. Or maybe it is just a case of cabin fever. Maybe it is just that time in my bipolar cycle. Maybe it as all the bills that still need to be paid. Maybe a combination of all of those. I do know that it helped me to chat and work on the Cancer Forum. As dark and sad as the forum work can be at times, it can also be such a source of inspiration, encouragement, and support.

I don't think most counselors give much credit to relationships established on the Internet. The dating sites give this whole issue a very bad name. How can you really find your soul mate on the Internet? Personally, I do not think you can. The future is still to be written about how successful and long term those relationships will be. However, the Internet is a powerful communications instrument, facilitating contacts between individuals from all around the world.

But the one big drawback of any form of written communication is that it is so very hard to communicate feelings. Even the greatest poets have a hard time communicating feelings if their readers do not understand the poetry. If I write that something tasted as sweet as honey but the reader hates honey it as almost the opposite effect than I intended. On top of that, most of us are not great poets or writers of any kind… I know that I certainly am not a good writer.

Anyhow, I guess I am just writing this entry in order to say that I try to keep my blog up to date.

One of Romania's Entries for Eurovision 2008