Remodeling Day 2?

Last time I told you how I was not going to bite off more than I could chew and just do one room at a time, remember? Well, hehe, it turns out that one room is almost more than I can chew. So far I have worked over 8 hours on that one room. First, I had to take a lot of things out and dump them into other rooms. I cannot even see my bed now. The couch is beckoning me J. I will need to clean it off too LOL.

However, what has taken an amazing amount of time is taking of the wallpaper border across the top of this 12 by 12 room. Let me give all of you "this old house" wanabees some basic instructions. If you think it is an easy task that anyone should be able to do, think again. If you cannot get or pay someone to do your wallpaper border removal for you, here as some suggestions:

1. 
   Don't use the wallpaper glue softener that comes as a thick pasty substance. I have used it in two forms:
   
   




1. The first way this substance is available is in a nice plastic bottle with a sponge roller attachment. It looks like it should do the job and in the hands of an expert it probably does. It looks very tempting. Save your money and move on. The problem is that it turns out to be very messy and it is hard to know when you have applied enough.


2. The second way this substance is available is in a squirt bottle familiar to anyone who has ever done anything do to with cleaner. I found that the instructions on the bottle would best be used if you are working on removing wallpaper that is covering the whole wall. However, it too is rather messy if you are trying to remove just a border


2. Regardless of the type or age of the wallpaper, do not even start without using the specially made tool to punch pin holes into the paper. I thought that since the paper I was trying to remove was not a vinyl wallpaper that I could skip this step. I was wrong.
   


3. 
   I ended up using the second product but had to change how I applied it. I used a wet sponge. I squired the blue gel onto the sponge and then dabbed it onto the paper. By dabbing rather than rubbing I was able to see how much of the gel I had actually applied. Be generous; it will not pay to be stingy.
   
   
   

   One last note about the type of wallpaper glue softener you should us. I did not use it this time but I remember years ago that there was a concentrated substance that we mixed with water at home. That might still be the best way to do the job.
   



4. The instructions on the bottle say to wait 15 minutes. If you do as I did and go around the whole 12 x 12 room at once, it will take much longer than 15 minutes and the paper will be dry as a bone. I found that I could only work on 6 ft sections at a time and I still had problems. I had to reapply the blue gel several times.
   


5. Be patient. It does not pay to rush. If you try to remove the paper too soon, you will separate the top layer of paper but leave a very thin layer of paper behind. While that layer easily absorbs the blue gel, it does not come off it one piece but in many very small and gluey pieces.
   


6. 
   Be sure to wash off the wall after all or most of the paper is off. I did this twice.
   
   
   
   
   
   1. The first time I alternated between the sponge with some of the blue gel on it to soften any remaining glue with a clean green and yellow sponge using the green, scraping side. Again, I worked on 6 ft sections at a time.
      
   
   
   2. The second time, I only used the yellow side of the sponge just to make sure all traces of glue and bleu gel where gone.
      


7. Again, be patient. Allot twice as much time to this talk than you could ever imagine and you might get it done an hour later.

What It Looks Like Now

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A Great Day To Start Remodeling

Well, I have started. The house has not had a room in it remodeled since before my parents moved in… and that was almost 20 years ago. I am starting slow, which is unusual for me. I suffer for a self-diagnosed bipolar disorder. Usually when I am in one of my Manic periods I take on too much and spend more money than I really should or can spend. This time, I am under medication to help control those swings in my mood. I only purchased to cans of paint and the brushes I need to paint one of the three bedrooms in the house. I will start with the smallest and go from there. Wish me luck.

A New Approach

I have decided to make better use of this blog and not post a continuation of my story on the CancerForums.net. I will still make significant contributions to the CF and stay as active as possible with them. Nevertheless, it is just as easy to post to this blog and will not make my story so dominant of the stories of others. This is at least my current thinking J.

It Has Now Been 15 Years

Well, it is official. I have survived 15 years post diagnosis of Primary Brain Cancer (glioma). I will not lie to myself and say that it has been an easy 15 years because it has not. Especially since the move here in 2003 and the recurrence in June of 2005. I have not been able to find a good job which I can actually do. The damage to my brain has caused me some significant problems: weakness in my right arm and hand, trouble speaking, harder time remembering this, imbalance, and increased mood swings to name just a few.

But I am here. I am not sure why. I do help people on http://cancerforums.net/index.php and I think they appreciate what I do. However, often I suffer from survivor's guilt. I ask: "Why do I live and that father in his late 30's with a baby will die soon?" It haunts me so nights. I stay awake wishing God (who ever that is) would just take my remaining days and give it to someone who would make better use of it.

I did live long enough to see both of my daughters get married, to help me son earn his Eagle Scout rank, and to see my first grandbaby. Of those things, I am grateful. If I live one more year, I will get to see my second grandchild and see my son graduate from High School. I am very proud of me children and the young adults they have become.

I will try to blog more often this year ;)

Time Flies When You Are Having Fun

I am a grandfather:

I cannot believe how long it has been since the last time I updated my blog! So much has happened that it is hard even to know where to start. I guess I will start with the most important thing first. I am a grandfather. My oldest daughter gave birth to a son on July 1 just as I predicted. That means that in a few days he will be 4 months old. His name is James Paul (JP for short) and he is named after his great-grandfather on both sides of his family. The only problem is that he lives 4 hours away from me and it is not easy for me to get there.
My second daughter is now pregnant and will give birth sometime in April 2008. I cannot believe that I will be the first of my father's children to have two grandchildren.

I am disabled:

The cancer has taken its toll on me.

• I have right sided weakness. My neurologist says that the nerves to my right arm and hand were damaged by the chemotherapy and the damage caused by my surgery has caused some loss of communication between my brain and my right side.
• I tend to stutter more. I tied to preach a few weeks ago and could barely get through the sermon. It is very frustrating not to be able to speak clearly. So, I remain silent, communicating by email and sms more.
• I have lost my balance. I cannot climb ladders for fear that I might fall again. I stumble and cannot walk a straight line.
• I have experienced long periods of memory loss. It is not short term memory or even long term memory that is affected. It is gaps in my memory. I do things, significant things, and have absolutely no memory of doing them.

Despite all of this, if you only saw me, you could not tell that anything is wrong with me. I think people look at me and say: "He is disabled? I don't believe him." It is very frustrating to think that people do not believe me.
It is also hard on the budget. I live with the lights off, rarely use the TV, use as little water as possible, all in an attempt to save money so that I can pay the doctor bills and property taxes. I might end up having to sell the house I inherited from my father. I dent to eat poorly and really hate to waist anything. If it is not growing mold, I will eat it.

I am very active on The Cancer Forums:

Until just this month, I was the primary Administrator of the Cancer Forums. Although I am not the owner of that site, I was its most active member and did a lot of the administration of the site. That site has really started to grow into a wonderful community, offering patients, families, and friends information and support. Currently, we have over 15,500 registered members although many of them are not active.

My son has finished his Eagle Scout project and turned in the paperwork:

My son has almost earned his Eagle Scout rank. All that he lacks is to have a Board of Review. We are very proud of him because he did it all by himself.



One regret that I have is that we never had a chance to participate in a large event such as a World Jamboree or the PanAmerican Jamboree. He was too young for the PanAmerican Jamboree and we could not afford the World Jamboree. We did not even make it to Philmont but I think these were more my dreams than they were Steven's.

Troubling Times

I have not made an entry in almost a year. Shame, shame on me :D

Much has happened during this last year. The most critical event was the death of my father in September of 2006. He died of complications of Leukemia. Our relationship was complex, to say the least! He and I were too much alike in some ways and too different in other ways. Both of us have difficulty expressing our feelings, so we did not talk very much. He was a conservative man… I am a liberal man. I held a long-term grudge against him and I am sure he had his own issues with me. None of these issues were resolved before his death and I am not sure that I am all that sorry that we left so much unsaid between us.

My father was a very productive man. During his life time he did so much that was good and admirable… I did tell him how much I admired him for all the things he accomplished. On the other hand, I do not feel like I have accomplished much at all. I start many projects (like this blog), but lose interest soon. It is becoming harder and harder for me to maintain focused on any activity. Since my teenage years, I have had greater than normal mood swings going from almost Manic to Depression in a very short time. However, these swings have become greater than "normal". I do not know how much to attribute to life changes and the cancer or how much to attribute to clinical Manic-Depression.

My last mood swing toward depression came when I read on the Internet about the shootings at Virginia Tech. I kept wishing that I could have taken the place of one of those young people who died so senselessly. They had all of their lives to look forward to living as productive members of our society. What do I have to offer? I know that unless I am hit by a car, I will probably die due to a recurrence of my cancer. OK, so I might have 5-7 years before that happens. So let me use it productively. Somehow, I am not convinced.

I am doing what I can to help myself live. I have been to the doctor twice this week and I do have follow-ups scheduled. I take my medication on time. I started anti-depressant just this week so it is too early to judge whether it will help or not.

Of most concern to me are some significant memory losses I have had over the last year. Two were extensive last over 30 minutes each. Then I have had many others that are fairly brief… less than 30 minutes. How many exactly, I do not know. The most extensive one was this last Sunday when I drove over 45 miles but do not remember any of the trip. I know that we all daydream on a long stretch of Interstate from time to time. But this trip involved changing lanes, merging onto different roads, crossing traffic. I do not remember any of it! I made the trip in 40 minutes… a trip that usually takes at least 50 minutes going at 75 mph on the Interstate! I must have been flying!! The neurologist wants me to have another MRI but he doesn't think my insurance will pay since I had one in February.

Anyhow, that is all the news worth blogging about for today. I will try to be more faithful in blogging... if I can remember too LOL.

Well, Italy moves own

Italy, after beating the USA, Brazil, and now Germany moves on to the finals. I would have bet on any of the three teams against Italy. I did not think they were nearly as good as Brazil or Germany. But the score tells the story. I think Italy will win the World Cup this time.