GOOD COFFEE

7  Cathedra de São Luiz

Ahh Life is good. The sun is bright and it is slowly getting warmer. After spending a rather cold winter using the central heat only to keep the pipes from freezing it is great to have the house at 65F.

One of the only problems is that I am out of my favorite coffee. I went to the small Hispanic store where I usually get my Café Brustelo and they did not have any and are not planning to get more. I do not like any of the more Americanized coffees. Most people in the USA do not understand the coffee that they drink so here is the fact: It really does not matter where the coffee beans are for; what matters is where the beans are roasted. All US brands, including Starbucks, import their beans and roast them here. They do not roast the beans long enough or in the same way that the beans are roasted in Mexico or Brazil. USA coffee has, therefore, more acidity and cannot be brewed as strongly. It turns out more like a tea made of coffee beans rather than "real" coffee.
I will have to wait until I can find more Brustelo.
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I have had several people ask me about tha Franz Kohout waterpantings that I am using. I will eventually use all of the. However, if you would like to see all of the ones that I have, you can go to http://s110.photobucket.com/albums/n119/brazil_nut/Franz%20Kohout/ where I have uploaded all of them.

Depression

06 Igrejá do Carmo Salvador

This is probably the lowest I have been in many years and I am not sure how much I can or will write in this entry.
I am bipolar. One of my anti-seizure medicines also helps keep my mood level most of the time. However, sometimes nothing works.
Most people do not understand mental disorders in general and Bipolar Disorder specifically. There are three factors that contribute to Bipolar Disorder:

1.  Chemical imbalance in the brain: The brain just does not produce enough of whatever it needs and no amount of treatment will change that deficiency. That is why being bipolar is a lifelong curse. I have been this way since my teen years.
2. Psychological factors: By this in mean that I have a hard time expressing my emotions. Negative feelings get bottled up in my and that just makes the depression and manic phases worse.
3. A trigger: Often something happens to shift the direction of my mood. If I see the event as positive, I might swing to the manic side. On the other hand, if I see the event as negative, I might swing to the depression side.

I was balancing my checking and credit accounts and found that I will be in the red by the end of the month. I say that is a negative trigger. 

Politics

05 Igreja de Rosário

It is a taboo subject to talk about politics in my family. I think it all started in Brazil where it was inappropriate and sometimes dangerous for us to talk about the subject. However, that is not the full story. My family consists of such a wide variety of political opinions that it is hard to talk politics without getting into a heated debate and most of us are very uncomfortable with confrontations. What I will try to do in this entry it to give a broad stroke view of my political views. I know that for a lot of you this win come as a shock. I do not mean to cause you any pain although I expect some of you will be "concerned".
If there was a Liberal Democratic Party in the United State, I would join it. Neither of the two major parties reflects my beliefs. I will vote Democratic this fall but not with a great deal of confidence that anything will change.
1. I believe as our political AND Baptist forefathers did in the total separation of Religion and State. Certainly, I do not mean that one is not influenced by the other. However, when we start making political decisions that affect everyone based solely on our religious beliefs we have gone too far. Similarly, the State should not tamper with my religious beliefs. This does not mean that if my religion says that it is OK for me to kill someone in revenge that the State should not intercede… but they should intercede to protect the other person and not to try to change my personal beliefs.
2. I am against Capital Punishment in ANY situation. After using the illustration that I did in the previous statement, I feel like this should be the next stand about which I should talk. I value Human life too much to take it. Even if we could kill Hitler and save hundreds of thousands, we have no right to do that.
Corollary: My stand on abortion does not stand as a contradiction. While I do not believe that human life begins at conception it is still a life with the potential of becoming a human being. Nevertheless, while I am against abortions, I am equally strong pro-choice. I cannot imagine a more difficult decision to make than the choice to have or not have an abortion. The only person who should have any say in that choice is the mother. I am making a differentiation that most anti-abortionists do not, cannot, or simply will not make: pro-choice is not synonymous with pro-abortion. I have counseled with many women facing this choice. We talked about how they felt and believed how this choice might affect her lives, other options… but in all cases, the decision had to be theirs and theirs alone.
3. In terms of other social issues and economic issues I am also very liberal… almost a socialist (again making a significant distinction, this time between Socialism and Communism). The gap between the rich and the poor is immoral. I know that for some of you capitalists that gap makes total sense… even if you are among the poor. Maybe we will always have a gap, but that does not mean it is right. How can we call ourselves a "super power" when so many of our citizens are homes, hungry, and/or sick?
Corollary 1, On Health Care: For a country as rich as the US to not have a national health care system is shameful. I am in for a universal health care plan that covers all US citizens and residents.
Corollary 2, On Foreign Policy: Just within the last week, Russian troops invaded the much smaller neighbor state of Georgia. After our continuing military actions in Iraq, were do we find the nerve much less moral ground to object to Russia's action? I am in favor of supporting our troops; I just find this war to be an illegal aggression toward another country.
Well, that should be enough for one day .

 

First Contact

04 Trecho de Ouro Preto, Minas Gerais

If you are a reader of my blog or even if this is your first visit, you already have noticed the water paintings by the artist Franz Kohout I am using at the top of each of my entries. I really did not think that many people read this blog. To my surprise and great joy I received an email from the daughter-in-law of the artists expressing her happiness that I was using these painting. Her husband has a large portfolio of these paintings and she was wondering how I came to have these. I am totally overwhelmed that she found this blog. It just shows how powerful the Internet really is.
This contact just makes this collection so evermore valuable to us. It bring a lot of new and intriguing family history questions. Do we have all 60 of the original copies in this set? How did or parents come to have them in the first place; they were by no means art aficionados.
One intriguing but yet unconfirmed possibility is that Franz Kohout stayed in our home. When we live in Rio and in Tupã, my parents where always willing to hosts people traveling through the area. It is possible the Mr. Kohout was one of those traveler looking for inspiration. We are looking in our parants guest book for his signature.
This seems to be an ever increasing story and I will try to post what we find.

Colonoscopy Journal

03 Fundição de Aço, São Paulo

08:45 Tomorrow (July 16, 2008) I am having my first colonoscopy and I intent this entry to be a journal of that experience.
I can only have clear liquids today. At 08:00 I started taking the barium enema. For you who do not know what that is, it is 4 liters of fluid intended to clear out your system prior to the procedure. I am supposed to drink 8oz every 10 minutes. Having taken about 4 glasses so far, I am already slightly nauseated. I really hope I can keep it down.
08:50 I just took my 5 glass and was glad to see that I have already taken about 1/3 of the jug. I still feel slightly nauseated but nothing else so far.
This colonoscopy is just routine since I have no symptoms of colon cancer. But it does make me think: What if they find something? What will I do? I have always said that if my brain cancer recurs again, I will opt for no treatment. But somehow this choice might be even harder… whatever I decide to do. Dying of colon cancer is not a good way to die but neither is going through all that it takes to get an upper hand on colon cancer.
Time for another glass.
09:03 That glass definitely did not go down as easily. I am very nauseated and do not know how much longer I can hold it down or continue this journal.
I am kind of worried about tonight. Will I be able to sleep or will I be in the bathroom all night. This is when living alone is really hard. For one thing, I cannot just stay in bed and have someone bring me the liquid when I need to drink it.

09:15 I just had my first emergency run to the bathroom. I assume it will not be the last. At least it did relieve some of the nausea I was having.

Glass 7 down and stable.

09:26 Second emergency run to the bathroom. I am surprised at how fast this stuff is running through me but I did have a little diarrhea already.

Glass 8 down. Just slightly half way through.

09:40 Third run to the bathroom. This is certainly not what I would call "fun". Nausea is back but not as bad.

Glass 9 down and less than 1/4th of the jug left. Am I taking it right? It seems to be going too fast. The whole jug was supposed to take 4 hours. The instructions for me are: "Drink one glass every 10-15 minutes until the bottle is finished. You may take 4 hours to drink it if needed." I might be taking it too fast.

09:45 Glass 10 down. I will wait 15 min before the next one.

09:55 The liquid coming out is getting clearer so I guess the liquid going in is working :).

10:01 Glass 11 down. No change. Getting tired of running to the bathroom every few minutes :( but otherwise I am alright.

It would be nice if the CancerForums.net had a chatroom. :(

10:20 Glass 12 down and just 1 more left to go. I am feeling extra weak and tired. So I might have to go to bed once I finish the last glass.

10:45 Glass 13 down; none left :D. No let's see you long it takes for the "runs" to end. I need to lie down for a while.

14:47 I have been sleeping most of the time since I last posted. Bathroom trips have slowed but now I am hungry LOL. Jello anybody? :P

16:50 Just finished my "supper"... some chicken broth. Not feeling too well right now. Stomach is churning like a washing machine.

2008 July 16

07:00 Slept well. Got up at 06:00, took my bath, took my meds and am ready for my cousin to come pick me up and take me to the hospital.

12:15 Emily came as planed... 08:45. We were at the hospital by 09:00. The admission process did not take long and I was wheeled in for the colonoscopy by 10:00. The anathesionagist and doctor arrived shortly thereafter and after a brief conversation with each, I don't remember much except a slight abnormal taste in my mouth. I came to in the procedure room feeling as well as I did when I went in. I was back in my room by 11:00.

Test result no polyps, 7 small pockets of diverticulosis, and hemorrhoids.

I was home by 12:00.

Fred Hawkins Family Reunion

Ladeira do Pelourinho, Salvador, Bahia

What a wonderful time I had at our family reunion just a couple of weeks ago! All of my brothers and my sister were able to be there. Most of the next generation was there too. Three of the four great-grandchildren where there as well. Only my granddaughter was not able to be there because she is still too young to travel.
We went to Gatlinburg, TN and staid in a large condo with rooms for all of us except my nephew; he slept on a couch. I had an absolutely beautiful view of the mountains.
I have often said to people on the Cancer Forums that I like to know my prognosis but only in order to set priorities for the things I still want to do with whatever time I still have left. One of those things was to hike to the top of Mount LeConte and stay at the cabin they have up there ( http://www.leconte-lodge.com/home.html ). While I will never be able to do that, I was able to do the next best thing… hike part of the way there. Due to my balance problems and right-sided weakness, I would not dare try to hike all the way; at places the trail is not more that a foot's width wide. Nevertheless, with my youngest brother (John), I did hike about 2 miles in and back out which is about all the time we had.
In just a few minutes, I go to complete another of the items in my "bucket list"; I will be going with my son to his freshman orientation at the University of Kentucky.




View of Mount LeConte from the house we rented.

Vistas do Brasil Series – Franz Kohout Watercolor Paintings

01 A Sé, Olinda, Pernambuco

I am stating a new series of bogs with watercolor of the Brazilian artist Franz Kohout. I am not sure how many he painted. I have 51 copies. Actually, my brother Bill has the original copies but he send me a scanned copy. I wish I knew more about the artist but Google searches have so far led to no specific information. However, it does seem safe to assume from these searches that he was either an immigrant or decedent of immigrants from Czechoslovakia. As I find out more, I will add it to my posts.
Although I know something about some of the paintings, that is not by far the case for a great majority of them. If I do have firsthand knowledge of the subject, my comments will be about the paintings. Otherwise, they will just serve as a threat to tie my bogs together for a very long time.