The Seventh Day of Christmas

7 Swans A- Swimming starts for the 7 Gifts of the Holy Spirit

I finally got out of bed and did a few things around the house. Well, just a little. I did spend some time watching TV but in the living-room this time. I also went outside for the first time in almost a week and walked a while, washed the dishes, did some laundry, and got the mail (bills and junk mail… grrrr).
Gifts of the Spirit: (the underlined portions come from http://www.ourladyswarriors.org/faith/holygift.htm ... I assume this is a Roman Catholic site. I have edited it only to remove the sexist language).

1. Wisdom: A deep desire for the things of God, and to direct our whole life and all our actions to God's honor and glory. I have the desire but not the strength to carry this through. My life only tangentially honors God in any way… at least not I the traditional Christian understanding. I do think that I try to relate to others in a way that honors God. While not overtly God-directed, in my own mind, my work on the Cancer Forum is bringing honor and glory to God.
2. Understanding: Enable us to know more clearly the mysteries of faith. Faith is indeed a mystery. Most people really confuse mystery with a sense of knowledge (head knowledge). I do not believe this is a correct understanding of faith.
3. Counsel: warn us of the deceits of the devil, and of the dangers to salvation. Well, I totally disagree with the literal understanding of this definition. I am not really sure there is a devil… although I am very sure about the reality of Evil. But most people confuse Evil with violation of the commandments or some other standards of measuring behavior. As a counselor, the Holy Spirit helps us understand what is right for our lives. What is right for me may be wrong for you. Unfortunately, it is not easy to know what is right for one's life.
4. Fortitude: Strengthen us to do the will of God in all things. Certainly, I have not received the strength to do what I think I should. This may mean that I do not really know what the will of God is in my life.
5. Knowledge: enable us to discover the will of God in all things. Maybe this is the primary gift that I am personally missing the most. This gift is also misunderstood be many. God does not have a concrete plan for all of us to follow. Nor does God define for us an individual plan for our lives. What God tries to do is to help each of us to find our own plan. I wish I had a clue.
6. Piety: Love God as a Parent and obey God because we love God. My own personal sense is that I have so much internalized and unexpressed anger at God and fear of God that it is hard for me to express true piety. I am only superficially pious.
7. Fear of the Lord: Have a dread of sin and fear of offending God. I totally disagree with this understanding of what the Fear of the Lord is. It is not dread nor is it to be afraid of God. Fear of the Lord is more in line with reverence and respect. It is recognizing the awesomeness of the Lord and honoring God with our lives.

The Sixth Day of Christmas

6 Geese A-laying refers to the six days of creation

Sunday was another day in bed. My excuse was the US Football games on that day. But truthfully, I was still depressed and did not want to get out of bed. Retelling the same old story gets tiring so I can imagine how tiring it is for any reader who happens to check my blog. Unfortunately, when I get depressed, it is like a dark winter day… just one long night. Even praying becomes impossible. I cannot feel anything… no anger, no sadness, no love… just a profound loneliness. I know that my isolation is self-imposed. I just cannot seem to shack it off and do what I know I should do in order to cope with my depression.

The Six Geese a-laying is should remind me of the six days it took God to create the universe. However, I get hung up on the "laying" part because that is all I did. I wish I had thought about and enjoyed God's creation. I wish I had enjoyed others that day. But I did not. I did write an entry to my blog… for the second day of Christmas. I did do some work on the forum so I guess I was already getting a little better. Nevertheless, it took one more day before I got out of bed.

The Fifth Day of Christmas

5 Golden Rings – 5 books of the Pentateuch

Although 5 Golden Rings sound nice, the fifth day of Christmas (Saturday December 29) was not a good day. The house was so quiet and lonely. A great depression started and lasted for the next four days. For two of them, I did not get out of bed and just watched TV when I was not sleeping. I did not even want to go on to the CancerForums.net site to do some administrative work. I found myself annoyed by some of the new members and their questions… questions that I had answered hundreds of times before… or at least it felt that way. So, I just stayed away.
My financial problems also concerned me. How am I going to pay off my credit card dept? I will not mention here how much I really owe but it is a lot. I am slowly paying it off, but I fear that I will die and not leave any "Gold Rings" for my children. I remember the story of King Midos who touched things and they turned to gold. It seems that everything I touch turns to crap. I know that is not true but sometimes I feel that way.
Theological Message: The 5 books of the Pentateuch (first five books of the Jewish and Christian Scriptures) are books that show the beginning of several important things that still are issues today. Even though I do not believe them to be literally true accounts, they are still significant messages for us to listen to. Just to list a few:

1. How God created everything we know (even ourselves) from nothing.
2. How God loves and blesses God's children
3. How God's children often turn away from God
4. How God is merciful and brings his children back
5. How God has given guidance to his children over the years as an expression of God's mercy

The Forth Day of Christmas

4 Calling bird represent the Four Gospels

December 28 was a great day! All the family was still here so we had fun. It was a day full of joy. For lunch, we went the Dad's favorite restaurant and where we go a lot. Catfish Campus has become a tradition for our family. We also took our traditional siblings picture. Unfortunately, I do not have a copy of that picture yet because I did not take my camera. I know that a lot of you do not think of catfish as a Christmas food. It probably is not for most families. But after years of family reunions at Catfish Campus, it is traditional as Boiled Custard is in my family.

Theological Message: Today, we remember the four Gospels. Some people try to harmonize the four. I do not. I see each as separate. They come from different congregations in the early church. I once had a professor who told us that the four Gospels were like four churches on the same corner. Each church had its own preferences and history and needs. I cannot remember the denominations he associated with each, but his point was that each speaks to a distinct situation and should be considered on their own merits. Comparing them is only useful in recognizing the different messages of each.

1. Mark (arguably the earliest one) is the shortest of the four. It is also the darkest… especially if you do not accept the last chapter as originally part of the Gospel… no resurrection story. It leaves Jesus in the grave.
2. Matthew is focused on Jesus as the fulfillment of the Old Testament hopes and promises of the Messiah and the nature of the Kingdom of God. It is clearly written to a Jewish audience.
3. Luke is the story teller of the four. Luke tries to give a historical context to the life of Jesus. It is written to a Roman, none Jewish audience but who are really interested in facts and need facts to support their belief in Jesus as the Christ.
4. John is the theologian of the four. John is trying to understand the nature of the Christ and Salvation.

Bottom line, take each Gospel on its own and do not sweet the differences.

The Third Day of Christmas

3 French Hens refers to Faith, Hope and Love, the Theological Virtues

What I intended to be a twelve day project is turning into a twelve week project. That is alright with me. I enjoy Christmas so much that I do not mind spending 3 months reflecting on its meaning in my life.
Thursday, most of my family arrived. The only member who was absent was Lauren; she could not take time off from work. Nevertheless, Thursday was Christmas for me and the rest of us. They started arriving shortly after lunch. Connie and Steven, Elizabeth and Earl and JP drove here from Western Tennessee. Thursday afternoon, we opened our presents. We had a big laugh because Elizabeth gave me a key chain digital picture frame and I gave her the same thing. What was really funny was that both of us told Connie about our gifts so she already knew we were exchanging the same thing.
Thursday night we went to Franklin to my brother's daughter's house for our meal. Our time together there was very nice and full of laughter. We repeated of tradition of "dirty Santa" gift exchanges. I ended up with a very appropriate gift: a Starbucks Coffee set. The coffee is actually very good. I generally do not like coffee here in the US. Most of the time, it is just coffee tea.
I should mention something about my use of the Twelve Days of Christmas and the theological interpretation I give to each. They are not my own. There is some disagreement about the origin of these associations (i.e., that 3 French Hens refers to Faith, Hope and Love). I do not really believe that these associations have anything to do with the origin of the song. However, I use them because they do remind me of important elements of my beliefs. The Theological Virtues of Faith, Hope and Love are so central to my life that it is hard to imagine living in the absence of them. To be sure, I have struggled with each of these virtues. My Faith is in constant flux. My Hope is easily shaken by life events. My Love is often illusive, fleeing from my presence. However, as with French Hens that do not fly very far, the three Virtues are never very fly too far from me.

The Second Day of Christmas

2 New Testament and Old Testament

December 26 was a very busy day. I stayed up most of the night getting finished with the house work. I finished my gift shopping and rapping. I did not have time to feel depressed. I also took time to work a while on the CancerForms.net . It is amazing how much time that takes! I know I have said this before, but I really wish I could find someone who would pay me to do what I do.
Two Turtle Doves: That reminds me again of my ex-father-in-law. We would go hunting for doves or at least he would hunt. I would just walk with him.

On The First Day of Christmas

1 True Love refers to God.

Christmas Night was a lonely night but a busy night. I was getting ready for my family to come on the 27^th. I still had so much cleaning to do. I did not think I could ever get it all done. I am a perfectionist and felt hopelessly behind. Why did I not start earlier? I get so frustrated that often I just give up. However, I could not give up because regardless, my family would be here in less than 48 hours!
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Partridge (or pheasant or quail) with Pears
~ 2 - 2 to 3 lb. pheasants, halved or quartered
~ 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
~ 1/4 tsp salt
~ 1/4 tsp pepper
~ 1/4 cup butter or margarine
~ 3/4 cup dry white wine
~ 3/4 cup light cream
~ 3 egg yolks, beaten
~ 3 tbsp butter or margarine
~ 2 pears, cored and cut into wedges
~ 1 tsp sugar
Combine flour, salt and pepper in a plastic bag. Add pheasant pieces one at a time; shake to coat.

In a skillet, heat 1/4 cup butter. Brown pheasant pieces on all sides.

Add the wine. Cover and simmer 45-55 minutes or until tender.

Remove to a platter and keep warm.

Sauce

Combine the cream and egg yolks.

Slowly stir into pan drippings and cook over medium heat until just thickened stirring constantly. Do Not Boil.

Sautéed Pears

In a skillet, melt 3 tbsp butter. Add the pear wedges.

Sprinkle with sugar. Cook, turning often, until lightly browned.


Pass the sauce with the pheasant. Sprinkle with paprika if desired.

Serve with the pears.
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I have not tried this recipe but it sounds very good.