First Contact

04 Trecho de Ouro Preto, Minas Gerais

If you are a reader of my blog or even if this is your first visit, you already have noticed the water paintings by the artist Franz Kohout I am using at the top of each of my entries. I really did not think that many people read this blog. To my surprise and great joy I received an email from the daughter-in-law of the artists expressing her happiness that I was using these painting. Her husband has a large portfolio of these paintings and she was wondering how I came to have these. I am totally overwhelmed that she found this blog. It just shows how powerful the Internet really is.
This contact just makes this collection so evermore valuable to us. It bring a lot of new and intriguing family history questions. Do we have all 60 of the original copies in this set? How did or parents come to have them in the first place; they were by no means art aficionados.
One intriguing but yet unconfirmed possibility is that Franz Kohout stayed in our home. When we live in Rio and in Tupã, my parents where always willing to hosts people traveling through the area. It is possible the Mr. Kohout was one of those traveler looking for inspiration. We are looking in our parants guest book for his signature.
This seems to be an ever increasing story and I will try to post what we find.

Colonoscopy Journal

03 Fundição de Aço, São Paulo

08:45 Tomorrow (July 16, 2008) I am having my first colonoscopy and I intent this entry to be a journal of that experience.
I can only have clear liquids today. At 08:00 I started taking the barium enema. For you who do not know what that is, it is 4 liters of fluid intended to clear out your system prior to the procedure. I am supposed to drink 8oz every 10 minutes. Having taken about 4 glasses so far, I am already slightly nauseated. I really hope I can keep it down.
08:50 I just took my 5 glass and was glad to see that I have already taken about 1/3 of the jug. I still feel slightly nauseated but nothing else so far.
This colonoscopy is just routine since I have no symptoms of colon cancer. But it does make me think: What if they find something? What will I do? I have always said that if my brain cancer recurs again, I will opt for no treatment. But somehow this choice might be even harder… whatever I decide to do. Dying of colon cancer is not a good way to die but neither is going through all that it takes to get an upper hand on colon cancer.
Time for another glass.
09:03 That glass definitely did not go down as easily. I am very nauseated and do not know how much longer I can hold it down or continue this journal.
I am kind of worried about tonight. Will I be able to sleep or will I be in the bathroom all night. This is when living alone is really hard. For one thing, I cannot just stay in bed and have someone bring me the liquid when I need to drink it.

09:15 I just had my first emergency run to the bathroom. I assume it will not be the last. At least it did relieve some of the nausea I was having.

Glass 7 down and stable.

09:26 Second emergency run to the bathroom. I am surprised at how fast this stuff is running through me but I did have a little diarrhea already.

Glass 8 down. Just slightly half way through.

09:40 Third run to the bathroom. This is certainly not what I would call "fun". Nausea is back but not as bad.

Glass 9 down and less than 1/4th of the jug left. Am I taking it right? It seems to be going too fast. The whole jug was supposed to take 4 hours. The instructions for me are: "Drink one glass every 10-15 minutes until the bottle is finished. You may take 4 hours to drink it if needed." I might be taking it too fast.

09:45 Glass 10 down. I will wait 15 min before the next one.

09:55 The liquid coming out is getting clearer so I guess the liquid going in is working :).

10:01 Glass 11 down. No change. Getting tired of running to the bathroom every few minutes :( but otherwise I am alright.

It would be nice if the CancerForums.net had a chatroom. :(

10:20 Glass 12 down and just 1 more left to go. I am feeling extra weak and tired. So I might have to go to bed once I finish the last glass.

10:45 Glass 13 down; none left :D. No let's see you long it takes for the "runs" to end. I need to lie down for a while.

14:47 I have been sleeping most of the time since I last posted. Bathroom trips have slowed but now I am hungry LOL. Jello anybody? :P

16:50 Just finished my "supper"... some chicken broth. Not feeling too well right now. Stomach is churning like a washing machine.

2008 July 16

07:00 Slept well. Got up at 06:00, took my bath, took my meds and am ready for my cousin to come pick me up and take me to the hospital.

12:15 Emily came as planed... 08:45. We were at the hospital by 09:00. The admission process did not take long and I was wheeled in for the colonoscopy by 10:00. The anathesionagist and doctor arrived shortly thereafter and after a brief conversation with each, I don't remember much except a slight abnormal taste in my mouth. I came to in the procedure room feeling as well as I did when I went in. I was back in my room by 11:00.

Test result no polyps, 7 small pockets of diverticulosis, and hemorrhoids.

I was home by 12:00.

Fred Hawkins Family Reunion

Ladeira do Pelourinho, Salvador, Bahia

What a wonderful time I had at our family reunion just a couple of weeks ago! All of my brothers and my sister were able to be there. Most of the next generation was there too. Three of the four great-grandchildren where there as well. Only my granddaughter was not able to be there because she is still too young to travel.
We went to Gatlinburg, TN and staid in a large condo with rooms for all of us except my nephew; he slept on a couch. I had an absolutely beautiful view of the mountains.
I have often said to people on the Cancer Forums that I like to know my prognosis but only in order to set priorities for the things I still want to do with whatever time I still have left. One of those things was to hike to the top of Mount LeConte and stay at the cabin they have up there ( http://www.leconte-lodge.com/home.html ). While I will never be able to do that, I was able to do the next best thing… hike part of the way there. Due to my balance problems and right-sided weakness, I would not dare try to hike all the way; at places the trail is not more that a foot's width wide. Nevertheless, with my youngest brother (John), I did hike about 2 miles in and back out which is about all the time we had.
In just a few minutes, I go to complete another of the items in my "bucket list"; I will be going with my son to his freshman orientation at the University of Kentucky.




View of Mount LeConte from the house we rented.

Vistas do Brasil Series – Franz Kohout Watercolor Paintings

01 A Sé, Olinda, Pernambuco

I am stating a new series of bogs with watercolor of the Brazilian artist Franz Kohout. I am not sure how many he painted. I have 51 copies. Actually, my brother Bill has the original copies but he send me a scanned copy. I wish I knew more about the artist but Google searches have so far led to no specific information. However, it does seem safe to assume from these searches that he was either an immigrant or decedent of immigrants from Czechoslovakia. As I find out more, I will add it to my posts.
Although I know something about some of the paintings, that is not by far the case for a great majority of them. If I do have firsthand knowledge of the subject, my comments will be about the paintings. Otherwise, they will just serve as a threat to tie my bogs together for a very long time.

Home and Life Improvements

Well, the new roof is finished as are the new widows. The new gutters to on tomorrow… weather permitting. I will post pictures as soon as possible.

In the mean time, I have created a new website and forum to offer support and information to cancer patients, their families, and their care providers. I really do not wish to replace the existing cancerforums.net … only to improve our services. We already have 14,000+ members. Google search "Brain Cancer Support" and the top return will be cancerforums.net . I have offered it to the owner of the existing forum and he would like me to be in a "more formal" relationship with him. Exactly what that means is still unclear. Hopefully, I will hear from him soon. Until then, I will not provide anyone the URLs other than the handful of people helping me develop these sites.

Russia winner Eurovision Song Contest 2008

NEW GRANDAUGHTER

The big news for the last two months is that I have a new granddaughter. Abby is the daughter of my second oldest daughter, Lauren. I went to be with Lauren almost a week too early because she told me she was "3 inches dilated" (about 8 cm) when she was actually only 3 cm dilated LOL. Anyhow, it was good that I went that early since her mother and our son had a band trip to go on. I was able to be with Lauren and help her. In fact, I drove her to her doctor's appointment where she found out that she would have her baby that very day. I am very happy that I could be there for Abby's birth albeit in the waiting room (Abby's father had arrived shortly after Lauren's admission to the hospital.

One of the wonderful things associated with the birth of Abby is that it gave me a lot of time to spend at the hospital where I served as a Chaplain for about 12 years. I renewed a lot of old acquaintances and had meals with several long-time friends. That time just made me realize how foolish I was to ever leave. Not only did I abandon my children and a crucial time in their lives but I left a good job and wonderful friends. I have never been able to make such good friends again. Certainly, I can never make up for the hurt I caused my children.

Lastly, the remodeling of my house continues. Since I own the house without a mortgage hanging over my head, I was able to take out a home equity loan. I have already reroofed the house. Today, the workers are here to install new windows. Next week, I will get new gutters. That is all the outside work that needs to be done by someone else. That leaves the inside for me to do. As with the first room, I have plans to paint the other rooms one-by-one. Paying off the loan gives me a good reason to live for at least the next eight years, LOL.

Last Things

I woke up crying this morning after dreaming about going on a trip back to Brazil, the country where I grew up and still deeply love. In the dream, I was at the end of a visit with friends in my "home country." I woke up when I realized that might be my last trip to Brazil. After awaking, I realized that very likely I have already had that last trip back in 1996.

I love Arizona in the late winter and early spring . I have been to Phoenix 3 times... once when I was 12 years old and then twice within the last 10 years. I love Phoenix and would move there if it were not that it is too far away from my kids. Will I ever go back? Probably not.

Life is so full of those types of experiences. Having had cancer and at my age, I am so keenly aware of those opportunities. The last time I visited my Hawkins side of the family in North Carolina was well over 5 years ago. Have I made that trip for the last time? Will I ever visit Europe? Australia? (after all, I now have several friends Downunder ).

Palma in Brazil. There used to be a wooden dam at this place. Dad was the Director of the Baptist Camp located on this farm in the interior of São Paulo State.