MRI REPORT

10 Cançadores

I am not sure if the news is good or bad or just nonexistent. Last night was very bad. I had a strong aura just 2 hours after taking my medicines. Cousin Emily drove me to the neurosurgeon. The doctor did two things: Ordered an MRI and called the neurologist to get me in before April 14. I am now scheduled for April 2. The doctor also put me on driving restrictions. He told me to limit drastically if not totally the amount of driving that I do until I get these auras under control. I can drive to the grocery store and back is pretty much it for a while. I will talk to my neurologist about how long I will be under that restriction.

  
We left his office and drove to the Imaging Center and they did an MRI with out and with contrast. Although basically everything was the same as all other MRIs that I have had, there was one difference: the technician asked me if I was going to see the neurosurgeon again. The technician has never asked that so I wondered why he did this time. However, to be clear, the technician never expressed and concern in what he said, in his tone of voice, or in how he treated me. He even joked with me about me being a "MRI Pro" and that I must have earned a degree in "How To Be A Good MRI Patient" by now.

  
Unfortunately, the answer to his question was "No". My neurosurgeon did not what to see me back. He instructed me to get a CD of the MRI to take with me to my neurologist. The Imaging Center people would fax my neurologist their written report. So, I do not have any official information to give to you today.


As is my custom, I did get a CD of my scan for myself. I have carefully looked at those 100+ images from this MRI and from previous ones. Although I am not an expert, nothing jumped out at me as being different. I did notice an area about 2cm x 1cm that was darker than the previous times... at the site of the original tumor. However, that could be caused by a slightly deeper "cut" this time, exposing some of the choroid plexus (that butterfly looking structure in the middle of the brain as seen from above). I am not overly concerned and will as patiently as I can wait to talk with my neurologist. I think if it was a recurrence, it would have been white.

  
I hope this does not overly concern you. I appreciate all of your thoughts, messages, and prayers. But right now I really think my auras are a sign of something off with my medicines that the cancer being back.





Give this some time to buffer. It is well worth it.

UPDATE ON MY HEALTH

09 Paisagem perto de Caixambú, Minas Gerais

Last Saturday night, I started having my pre-seizure auras. I double up my medication and went to bed thinking I would be fine in the morning. I was fine until mid afternoon when the aura came back. It is hard for me to describe what an aura feels like. However, I have had enough seizures to know what I feel like before one hits me. I have still not had a seizure and the aura has come and gone.

 
Monday, I already had an appointment with my GP. I was right in thinking that he would refer me to my neurologist. However, I am not sure where the communication broke down but the neurologist's nurse did not understand how important it was for the neurologist to see me ASAP so I am scheduled to see him April 14. I knew that would not do. I was thinking about just going over to his office and saying: "See me now or risk seeing me later in the ER after I have had a seizure." I realized that one of the things he would do is check my medicine blood leave. Since I had doubled up, that would probably return in the therapeutic range. The other thing he would do is call my neurosurgeon to see if he thought an MRI was needed. So, rather than taking that extra step in seeing my neurologist, I called my neurosurgeon who wants to see me today (Thursday) and possibly do an MRI.

 
All my support system is lined up: My cousin will drive me the 45 miles to St Thomas in Nashville; my wonderful neighbors are looking in on me every day now; and my family has all been notified… although right now there is precious little my family can do for me or that I want them to do.

 
This has brought to the forefront the issue of where I am living. I have decided, regardless of what is happening now, that I will be living in Paducah be next Christmas.

 
Next update will be later today when I get back from Nashville.

BROKE

8 Pescaria

It has been a long time. I am working on the Hardison Book update. The Hardison family is the family of my maternal grandmother. My father wrote the basic book. I am just scanning it and updating it. I have no plans of really publishing it in hardback form. If I do sell it, it will be as an eBook. But that is a long time in the future.

 
Right now, I am broke. I have absolutely no money until April 8. I have paid all my bills (I hope) and bought all the food that I need for over one month. However, there is very little left to pay off my depts, entertainment, travelling… I do not even have money for my medicines. It really is bad.

 
Oh, well. I will manage. I have managed so far.

GOOD COFFEE

7  Cathedra de São Luiz

Ahh Life is good. The sun is bright and it is slowly getting warmer. After spending a rather cold winter using the central heat only to keep the pipes from freezing it is great to have the house at 65F.

One of the only problems is that I am out of my favorite coffee. I went to the small Hispanic store where I usually get my Café Brustelo and they did not have any and are not planning to get more. I do not like any of the more Americanized coffees. Most people in the USA do not understand the coffee that they drink so here is the fact: It really does not matter where the coffee beans are for; what matters is where the beans are roasted. All US brands, including Starbucks, import their beans and roast them here. They do not roast the beans long enough or in the same way that the beans are roasted in Mexico or Brazil. USA coffee has, therefore, more acidity and cannot be brewed as strongly. It turns out more like a tea made of coffee beans rather than "real" coffee.
I will have to wait until I can find more Brustelo.
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I have had several people ask me about tha Franz Kohout waterpantings that I am using. I will eventually use all of the. However, if you would like to see all of the ones that I have, you can go to http://s110.photobucket.com/albums/n119/brazil_nut/Franz%20Kohout/ where I have uploaded all of them.

Depression

06 Igrejá do Carmo Salvador

This is probably the lowest I have been in many years and I am not sure how much I can or will write in this entry.
I am bipolar. One of my anti-seizure medicines also helps keep my mood level most of the time. However, sometimes nothing works.
Most people do not understand mental disorders in general and Bipolar Disorder specifically. There are three factors that contribute to Bipolar Disorder:

1.  Chemical imbalance in the brain: The brain just does not produce enough of whatever it needs and no amount of treatment will change that deficiency. That is why being bipolar is a lifelong curse. I have been this way since my teen years.
2. Psychological factors: By this in mean that I have a hard time expressing my emotions. Negative feelings get bottled up in my and that just makes the depression and manic phases worse.
3. A trigger: Often something happens to shift the direction of my mood. If I see the event as positive, I might swing to the manic side. On the other hand, if I see the event as negative, I might swing to the depression side.

I was balancing my checking and credit accounts and found that I will be in the red by the end of the month. I say that is a negative trigger. 

Politics

05 Igreja de Rosário

It is a taboo subject to talk about politics in my family. I think it all started in Brazil where it was inappropriate and sometimes dangerous for us to talk about the subject. However, that is not the full story. My family consists of such a wide variety of political opinions that it is hard to talk politics without getting into a heated debate and most of us are very uncomfortable with confrontations. What I will try to do in this entry it to give a broad stroke view of my political views. I know that for a lot of you this win come as a shock. I do not mean to cause you any pain although I expect some of you will be "concerned".
If there was a Liberal Democratic Party in the United State, I would join it. Neither of the two major parties reflects my beliefs. I will vote Democratic this fall but not with a great deal of confidence that anything will change.
1. I believe as our political AND Baptist forefathers did in the total separation of Religion and State. Certainly, I do not mean that one is not influenced by the other. However, when we start making political decisions that affect everyone based solely on our religious beliefs we have gone too far. Similarly, the State should not tamper with my religious beliefs. This does not mean that if my religion says that it is OK for me to kill someone in revenge that the State should not intercede… but they should intercede to protect the other person and not to try to change my personal beliefs.
2. I am against Capital Punishment in ANY situation. After using the illustration that I did in the previous statement, I feel like this should be the next stand about which I should talk. I value Human life too much to take it. Even if we could kill Hitler and save hundreds of thousands, we have no right to do that.
Corollary: My stand on abortion does not stand as a contradiction. While I do not believe that human life begins at conception it is still a life with the potential of becoming a human being. Nevertheless, while I am against abortions, I am equally strong pro-choice. I cannot imagine a more difficult decision to make than the choice to have or not have an abortion. The only person who should have any say in that choice is the mother. I am making a differentiation that most anti-abortionists do not, cannot, or simply will not make: pro-choice is not synonymous with pro-abortion. I have counseled with many women facing this choice. We talked about how they felt and believed how this choice might affect her lives, other options… but in all cases, the decision had to be theirs and theirs alone.
3. In terms of other social issues and economic issues I am also very liberal… almost a socialist (again making a significant distinction, this time between Socialism and Communism). The gap between the rich and the poor is immoral. I know that for some of you capitalists that gap makes total sense… even if you are among the poor. Maybe we will always have a gap, but that does not mean it is right. How can we call ourselves a "super power" when so many of our citizens are homes, hungry, and/or sick?
Corollary 1, On Health Care: For a country as rich as the US to not have a national health care system is shameful. I am in for a universal health care plan that covers all US citizens and residents.
Corollary 2, On Foreign Policy: Just within the last week, Russian troops invaded the much smaller neighbor state of Georgia. After our continuing military actions in Iraq, were do we find the nerve much less moral ground to object to Russia's action? I am in favor of supporting our troops; I just find this war to be an illegal aggression toward another country.
Well, that should be enough for one day .

 

First Contact

04 Trecho de Ouro Preto, Minas Gerais

If you are a reader of my blog or even if this is your first visit, you already have noticed the water paintings by the artist Franz Kohout I am using at the top of each of my entries. I really did not think that many people read this blog. To my surprise and great joy I received an email from the daughter-in-law of the artists expressing her happiness that I was using these painting. Her husband has a large portfolio of these paintings and she was wondering how I came to have these. I am totally overwhelmed that she found this blog. It just shows how powerful the Internet really is.
This contact just makes this collection so evermore valuable to us. It bring a lot of new and intriguing family history questions. Do we have all 60 of the original copies in this set? How did or parents come to have them in the first place; they were by no means art aficionados.
One intriguing but yet unconfirmed possibility is that Franz Kohout stayed in our home. When we live in Rio and in Tupã, my parents where always willing to hosts people traveling through the area. It is possible the Mr. Kohout was one of those traveler looking for inspiration. We are looking in our parants guest book for his signature.
This seems to be an ever increasing story and I will try to post what we find.