THE HOSPITALITY OF ABRAHAM

Historical, Cultural, and Religious Background:

In Genesis 18, we read about the encounter between Abraham and three Angels. In the text, they are never called "angles" but "men". However, tradition has inferred for the story that these were in fact Angels (in light of Geneses 19:1) where two of them are identified as Angels. Abraham consistently calls the third one "Lord".

Hospitality is a very important action in the Jewish tradition. They point to the example of Abraham and Sarah as the source of their belief in the importance of showing hospitality to strangers.

The Icon:

The Icon I am using shows the three angles sitting at the table with the Lord at the head. Abraham and Sarah are serving them water and freshly made bread. The three angles are pictures in the traditional way with wings.

Personal Journey:

I live most of the time in solitude never having anyone visit and rarely seeing anyone else on a day to day basis. I cannot say that I am lonely; I rather enjoy my solitude. That does not mean that I do not enjoy visits from others! I just wish they would stay longer.

When I wish young, my family was the only American family in our little city in the interior of Brazil. If there anyone from the USA in the city, we would very likely be their host. I cannot remember my parent's turning anyone away. Mom would cook a big meal; whoever was in the "guest room" would move out; Dad would visit with our guest(s). Specifically, I remember having a Roman Catholic Priest stay overnight with us. He was a war soul and did not seem to mind the difference in our faiths.

Message:

The message in this Icon is straightforward; its implementation into our modern culture is anything but. Our modern lives isolate each of us. Most of us expect visitors to call before visiting. "Drop-in" visits are a thing of the past. In the USA, a lot of us grew in families where we learned about the westward expansion of our ancestors seeking more "elbow room." We have a lot of room for improving our hospitality.

Rabbi Eve Ben-Ora asked an interesting question in one of his medications on the subject of Hospitality: "Do you consider being friends with someone of Facebook the same as showing hospitality?" My answer is that it can be. I know that I have a lot of "friends" to whom I marginally show hospitality in any significant meaning of the word. Never the less, Facebook has made it possible for me to reconnect with many childhood friends. Also, I have made many new ones. It is amazing how much Facebook can foster a sense of community. Along the same line, I am an administrator of a forum for people affected by cancer (www.cancerforums.net). Over the last four years, I have made so very dear friends there. We have been through so much together. Nevertheless, as I often tell them, "While virtual hugs are wonderful, there is nothing like a real hug!" The same thing goes for hospitality: Yes, Facebook and forums can be a way for us to express "virtual" hospitality but it is nothing compared to the real thing.

Icon found in several public sources including collections of the GreekOrthodox Archdiocese of America. 

22 Itajabá, Minas Gerais

ARCHANGEL COUNCIL

Historical, Cultural, and Religious Background:

Of all the heavenly being mentioned in the Bible, no title is used less often then the title of "Archangel". In fact, the world is only used once (Jude 1:9). Since only Michael is specifically called an Archangel the Bible, most protestants do not recognize any other Archangel. Certainly, many protestant would agree that the Angel Gabriel holds a higher rank than others. Nevertheless, Michael is the only universally accepted Archangel (Jews, Muslims, and Christians).

Outside of Protestantism, those from the Roman Catholic Orthodox traditions do not reserve the title to just the ones whose names are found in the Scriptures. It is common to find references to a council of Archangels with 7 members. Although not all of the lists agree on the names of these members, all agree on four: Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, and Uriel. The others differ from list to list. Note that each of their names (and the name of all Archangels) ends in "el". "el" is the Hebrew word for "Lord". However, it is often used in the place of the name "God." (For more explanation of the meaning of each name: http://www.angelfocus.com/archangels.htm ).

The title of Archangel denotes an angel of higher rank or a chief among the angels. Sometimes, you will find them listed as Saints as well. In a sense, a loose translation of "Archangel" could be "senior or chief messenger of the God." In the case of St Michael, he also has the task of leader the Army of God who defeated Lucifer and threw him out of Heaven.

I am not exactly sure how to understand the Archangels in the light of the Holy Spirit dwelling in us. I have not had a personal experience with an Archangel like I have had with the Holy Spirit. The same can be said about Lucifer, the Falling Archangel. It is hard for me to believe in the existence of ANY archangel because of my lack of a personal contact with them.

Also, the struggle between Good and Evil, God and Satan, has always struck me as a form of dualism. Maybe the fight between St Michael and Lucifer is intended to alleviate this problem by distancing God from the fight. It is much easier to answer this criticism if the fight is actually between two Archangels rather the between two deities.

The Icon:

The icon I chose for this meditation is of the Archangels Council. In this icon, we see the seven archangels with two of them holding the image of Christ. Directly above Christ stand Michael holding in his right hand the name symbol for "Jesus" and in his left the name symbol for "Christ" (this is commonly found on Icons). From left to right we see: Jegudiel, Gabriel, Selaphiel, Michael, Uriel, Raphael, and Barachiel. Beneath Christ are three representatives of two other heavenly beings: Cherubims (blue) and Seraphim (red). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archangel

Personal Journey:

I am going to be selling my house and moving into an apartment in Paducah as soon as possible. In order to do this, I have to take on what seems like an impossible job: organize and clean years of documents, books, furniture, decorations, and other objects collected by my parents and me. Moving from a house with three bedrooms and a finished basement into a small apartment is a daunting task.

Message:

Throughout history, there have been times when God needed to speak to humans in a unique way. Whether at the Annunciation to Mary of the coming of the Messiah or the encounter with Abraham before the destruction of Sodom, God needed to make God’s presence felt in a very personal and even physical way. I believe that this need culminated in the coming of Christ. In fact, the Annunciation is the last appearance of an Archangel in history.

I wish that at times like this in my life, God would make clear which direction I should go. Others have expressed the same sentiment to me: “I wish God would appear to me and clearly tell me what I should do!” Unfortunately, an Archangel has never come to me to enlighten me. It would be comforting to know that there is a council of Archangels fighting our war with the Evil One. I look at this Icon and ask “Where are you?” I can hear some people replying: “You just are not listening hard enough.” OK, maybe. I don’t know about that. All that I know is that I have tried throughout my life to listen. Sometimes, I did think I had heard God’s messengers only to be disappointed. It is so hard to know where our thoughts come from. Are they coming from some external source are from a mix of your wishes, history, upbringing, nature, religion, or families? Do we do what we do simply to satisfy our own needs… including the need for affirmation from others or God?

It seems like at this point in my life I should have more answers than questions. Alas, this is not the case. Maybe knowing what I do not know is the beginning of wisdom? Archangels, please speak to me! (Deafening silence).

Icon found in several public sources including collections of the GreekOrthodox Archdiocese of America.

21 Matriz de Barbaçena, Minas Gerais

SAINT DEMETRIUS OF THESSALONIKI

Icon used with permission from: Ikonen Galerie Sophia, Benedicte Oehry, Wittergasse 10, CH-8001 Zurich, Switzerland

Tel./Fax: +41 (0)1 2 12 12 90 , e-mail: info@ikonen.ch

I take on an attempt to let an Icon of Saint Demetrius speak to me with fear and trepidation. I really struggled with this idea because St Demetrius’ story can be used to justify all kinds of cruelty to others.

According to Wikipedia and many other sites, Saint Demetrius of Thessaloniki (Thessalonica to Americas) was a 4th century martyr. He was the Patron Saint of Crusaders and one of the military saints. Icons of him often depict him dressed in upper class Roman general’s clothing alongside Saint George. St George is on a horse killing the dragon while St Demetrius while St Demetrius is killing a pagan giant.

Demetrius was a Roman noble man from Thessaloniki. He is thought to have been a general in the army of Emperor Galerius Maximianus (emperor from 305 to 311). He was a Christian in a world of pagans. When Maximianus returned to Thessaloniki (the capital at that time), he had pagan games to celebrate his victories. Demetrius spoke publically against these games. For his outspokenness, Demetrius was arrested.

While in prison, a young Christian named Nestor, came to him asking to be blessed so that he could defeat the giant, Lyaios. Demetrius blessed Nestor who went out and, like David, killed the giant. Emperor Maximianus became enraged at the news that his pagan hero had been killed by Nestor. The Emperor arrested Nestor. Since he knew that Demetrius was involved, Maximianus had both of them executed. Nestor was beheaded while Demetrius was impaled with a lance.
St Demetrius became a very important saint to the Slavic people of the Balkan and Russia.

Understand St Demetrius is not easy for someone like me who is opposed to wars. However, it does remind me of the time when I was a Chaplain in the US Army Reserve. I did not think of myself as a warrior. I thought of myself as a minister to warriors. I joined became I do believe that sometimes we do need to defend the Constitution. But that is not what I see in the works of St Demetrius. Most of us modern Christians cannot defend the Crusades of the middle ages.
Nevertheless, we do sing hymns such as “Onward Christian Soldiers”. There is always this thread in Christianity that describes us as warrior in the fight against Evil (however you understand that). I do struggle with this concept… mainly because it has been so misused throughout history. Whether it be with the Crusaders, or our Civil War, or more recently with the “war against terrorism.” Despite this ambivalence towards St Demetrius, I have to admire his courage when standing up against the “giant”, Emperor Maximianus.

It would be so easy to use Demetrius to make a political statement. I pray that you do not go there with this Saint.

19 Santuário de Nosa Senhora Aparecida, São Paulo

SAINT JOHN THE FORERUNNER

Saint John the Forerunner is a very interesting way to think about John the Baptist. It focuses our thoughts on his role as a prophet and predecessor of Christ. It takes us away from the details about his death. In this Icon, John is holding part of a scroll… maybe the part of Isaiah 40:3 where Isaiah said: "In the wilderness prepare the way of the Lord, make straight in the desert a highway for out God." John took this passage very literally and applied it to himself.

As I look at this icon, I wonder: " Was John living that way to identify with us living in our own wildernesses? I know that at times it feels like my life is in the wilderness, desolate and dry. But the difference is that I have not voluntarily or consciously chosen this life. Or maybe I have? Whether or not I have chosen this life, the difference between John and me (and a lot of us) is that John embraced his life; only the other hand, I have not. I fight against this life rather than learning from it.

To what extent are we forerunners of God's love for others?

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference."

Icon used with permission from: Ikonen Galerie Sophia, Benedicte Oehry, Wittergasse 10, CH-8001 Zurich, Switzerland, Tel./Fax: +41 (0)1 2 12 12 90, e-mail: info@ikonen.ch

17 Matriz de Tiradentes, Minas Gerais

PETER AND PAUL

Both Peter and Paul hold very important places in the Eastern as well as Western Churches. Although Peter is not held in as high esteem in the Eastern Church as he is in the Roman Catholic Church, he is still thought of as the first Patriarch of Rome. Peter and Paul are thought of as the two most important Fathers of the Christian Church. Peter is the root of the very early church, having a major role in setting the direction in which the Church would move. During the early church crisis about how non-Jews were received into the Church, Peter was divided in his opinion. While he accepted that "What God has baptized with the Holy Spirit, how can we deny baptism with water?" However, in a later confrontation with Paul, he was of the opinion the Gentiles first had to convert to Judaism. Paul was the first great missionary to the Gentile world. He is the primary force behind the growth of the Church beyond the Eastern Coast of the Mediterranean. Both are thought to have been martyred sometime during the last half of the 1st Century in Rome.
Peter and Paul represent a rather difficult balance that is practically impossible for any one individual to maintain but which the Church needs to have. On one side we have Peter with his emotionalism and at times reckless abandon in his dedication to Christ and Christ's continuing ministry through the Church. On the other hand, we have Paul and his calculated, planed steps toward the same goals. This Icon shows Peter and Paul holding up the church. It makes me think back on all the saints in my life that have supported my faith struggles. Although my faith has changed significantly, I still am very grateful to those individuals who guided me throughout my life.

One of those individuals that first comes to mind was a Roman Catholic Priest who was one of my Clinical Pastoral Education supervisors, Fr Jan de Jon. It was not so much what he said, did, or taught me. It was how he helped me find my own way by allowing me to explore my own faith without being judgmental. In the best sense of the word, he helped me be a good critic and helping me to question some of my basic assumptions and beliefs. He challenged me to be clear about why I believe what I do. I am still working on that. Like Peter and Paul, Jan support my faith growth by lifting me up to Christ.

Permission to Use the Icon: I have on file emailed permission from the site where I found the Icon to use it on Facebook and on my blog. Please, do not assume that this gives you permission to do the same. You can ask for permission by visiting the following site: 

The Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America

16 A Gávia, Rio de Janeiro

GREATMARTYR ANASTASIA THE DELIVERER OF POTIONS

Anastasia was born in Rome during the reign or Diocletian (CE 284 – 305). Her father was a Pagan but her mother was a Christian. After the death of her mother, Anastasia was given to a Pagan Roman. She maintain her virginity by pretending to be sick all the time. When her husband died at sea, Anastasia became active in ministering to Christians in prisons. Although of noble birth, Anastasia dressed as a beggar and took medicines that the sick Christians in Roman prisons. She was skilled in the healing arts of the days.

Eventually, Anastasia was arrested. The Emperor directly questioned her and tried to get her to recant her faith in Christ. When she did not, he turned her over to a Pagan priest. When the priest also failed, he tried to violate her. However, he was first struck blind when he tried to touch her and then he died when he asked his idols to heal him.

After a short time of freedom, Anastasia was once more arrested. She was sentenced to death by starvation. However, after 60 days without any food, she should no sign of weakening. The judge then sentenced her to death by drowning. She was put onboard a ship with many other Christian and taken out to sea. The soldiers then put holes in the bottom. However, the Christians were still able to sail the ship back to land. When the observers saw this, 150 of them came to believe and where baptized by Anastasia and another Christian. All of these were captured and martyred for their faith.

Anastasia was stretched between four pillars and set on fire. She died but the flames did not burn her body. In the 5th Century, her remains were moved to Constantinople and buried at a church build in dedication to her. Some of her bones, including her head, were later moved to the St. Anastasia Monastery near Mount Athos. The original of the above Icon is located at that monastery.

I gain strength and joy from knowing that my ministry as a Chaplain has done the same. It reminds me that I too am part of the "Deliverer of Potions" tradition.

Permission to Use of Icons:I have on file emailed permission from the sites where I found these Icons to use them on Facebook and on my blog. Please, do not assume that this gives you permission to do the same. You can ask for permission by visiting the following site: St. Anastasia Knights of Columbus

14 São João na Fazenda

HOW WILL I SUMARIZE MY LIFE?

12 Igreja da Misericordia

Olinda, Pernambuco

Recently, I have been thinking about what I want on my gravestone. It is not an easy task. Have I made a positive impact on my family or friends? Oh, maybe a little. However, there is so much I wish I had done. I know what I need to do and yet I fail to. I guess, down deep, I really do not want to change. So, I am stuck unable or unwilling to move forward.
There is so much I wish I had taught my children! If they have learned anything from me it is what NOT to be as a parent. My own father did not teach me much. I am not blaming him because I knew that I did not want to be like him. Yet here I am living much more in isolation than he ever did. I am torn between what I know I need and what I know I want. I am torn between the knowledge that I need to be with people and the desire to be alone. Other than the forum, an occasion email or phone call, a daily time on FaceBook, and a biweekly outing to the grocery store, I make very little contact with people. I make so many excuses! My cancer; my lack of money for gas and extras; we weakness… There is some validity to these. However, that pales in comparison to my unwillingness to participate in life.
The children's prayer goes: "Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. And if I die before I wake, I pray to God my soul to take." This is not my prayer. When I lie in my bed, I often pray: "Now I lay me down to bed. I wish I was died. And if I wake in the morn, I'll wish that I had not been born." Not as sweet as the children's prayer but it is what I wish. I could never or would never actively kill myself, but I do wish I would die.
I want to start all over but I would probably make the same mistakes. I believe we are here to learn something about life. Until now that lesson has eluded me. Therefore, even if I did die and got to start all over, without having learned my lesson in this life, my destiny is to make the same choices until I learn.
So, back to my tombstone… my name, day I was born, day I died, and "Maybe Next Time".

WHERE IS HOME?

11 Kermese

Dad would be 86 today if he has lived this long. As part of remembering him, I took flowers to his and Mom's graves today. During the drive out there, I was overwhelmed by a sense of belonging to this place. I also remembered how important those trips to the cemetery are to me. I often fantasize about living in Brazil and I do plan to move back to Paducah sometime this year. But if I move, my family (the Hawkins side) will have no more reason to come here. I do have a couple of elderly aunts (in laws) and four cousins how live here. But I rarely see them. Who will visit my father's and mother's graves? Who will place flowers?
Where will I be buried? I always thought next (or near) to my parents. Does that really matter? For some reason, it does. Not that I really believe that it makes a difference in the long run. I will be close to them wherever I am buried. However, it still matters.

Going to the cemetery just reminded me of one more very important thing I will lose when I move and it kind of depressed me.

MRI REPORT

10 Cançadores

I am not sure if the news is good or bad or just nonexistent. Last night was very bad. I had a strong aura just 2 hours after taking my medicines. Cousin Emily drove me to the neurosurgeon. The doctor did two things: Ordered an MRI and called the neurologist to get me in before April 14. I am now scheduled for April 2. The doctor also put me on driving restrictions. He told me to limit drastically if not totally the amount of driving that I do until I get these auras under control. I can drive to the grocery store and back is pretty much it for a while. I will talk to my neurologist about how long I will be under that restriction.

  
We left his office and drove to the Imaging Center and they did an MRI with out and with contrast. Although basically everything was the same as all other MRIs that I have had, there was one difference: the technician asked me if I was going to see the neurosurgeon again. The technician has never asked that so I wondered why he did this time. However, to be clear, the technician never expressed and concern in what he said, in his tone of voice, or in how he treated me. He even joked with me about me being a "MRI Pro" and that I must have earned a degree in "How To Be A Good MRI Patient" by now.

  
Unfortunately, the answer to his question was "No". My neurosurgeon did not what to see me back. He instructed me to get a CD of the MRI to take with me to my neurologist. The Imaging Center people would fax my neurologist their written report. So, I do not have any official information to give to you today.


As is my custom, I did get a CD of my scan for myself. I have carefully looked at those 100+ images from this MRI and from previous ones. Although I am not an expert, nothing jumped out at me as being different. I did notice an area about 2cm x 1cm that was darker than the previous times... at the site of the original tumor. However, that could be caused by a slightly deeper "cut" this time, exposing some of the choroid plexus (that butterfly looking structure in the middle of the brain as seen from above). I am not overly concerned and will as patiently as I can wait to talk with my neurologist. I think if it was a recurrence, it would have been white.

  
I hope this does not overly concern you. I appreciate all of your thoughts, messages, and prayers. But right now I really think my auras are a sign of something off with my medicines that the cancer being back.





Give this some time to buffer. It is well worth it.

UPDATE ON MY HEALTH

09 Paisagem perto de Caixambú, Minas Gerais

Last Saturday night, I started having my pre-seizure auras. I double up my medication and went to bed thinking I would be fine in the morning. I was fine until mid afternoon when the aura came back. It is hard for me to describe what an aura feels like. However, I have had enough seizures to know what I feel like before one hits me. I have still not had a seizure and the aura has come and gone.

 
Monday, I already had an appointment with my GP. I was right in thinking that he would refer me to my neurologist. However, I am not sure where the communication broke down but the neurologist's nurse did not understand how important it was for the neurologist to see me ASAP so I am scheduled to see him April 14. I knew that would not do. I was thinking about just going over to his office and saying: "See me now or risk seeing me later in the ER after I have had a seizure." I realized that one of the things he would do is check my medicine blood leave. Since I had doubled up, that would probably return in the therapeutic range. The other thing he would do is call my neurosurgeon to see if he thought an MRI was needed. So, rather than taking that extra step in seeing my neurologist, I called my neurosurgeon who wants to see me today (Thursday) and possibly do an MRI.

 
All my support system is lined up: My cousin will drive me the 45 miles to St Thomas in Nashville; my wonderful neighbors are looking in on me every day now; and my family has all been notified… although right now there is precious little my family can do for me or that I want them to do.

 
This has brought to the forefront the issue of where I am living. I have decided, regardless of what is happening now, that I will be living in Paducah be next Christmas.

 
Next update will be later today when I get back from Nashville.

BROKE

8 Pescaria

It has been a long time. I am working on the Hardison Book update. The Hardison family is the family of my maternal grandmother. My father wrote the basic book. I am just scanning it and updating it. I have no plans of really publishing it in hardback form. If I do sell it, it will be as an eBook. But that is a long time in the future.

 
Right now, I am broke. I have absolutely no money until April 8. I have paid all my bills (I hope) and bought all the food that I need for over one month. However, there is very little left to pay off my depts, entertainment, travelling… I do not even have money for my medicines. It really is bad.

 
Oh, well. I will manage. I have managed so far.

GOOD COFFEE

7  Cathedra de São Luiz

Ahh Life is good. The sun is bright and it is slowly getting warmer. After spending a rather cold winter using the central heat only to keep the pipes from freezing it is great to have the house at 65F.

One of the only problems is that I am out of my favorite coffee. I went to the small Hispanic store where I usually get my Café Brustelo and they did not have any and are not planning to get more. I do not like any of the more Americanized coffees. Most people in the USA do not understand the coffee that they drink so here is the fact: It really does not matter where the coffee beans are for; what matters is where the beans are roasted. All US brands, including Starbucks, import their beans and roast them here. They do not roast the beans long enough or in the same way that the beans are roasted in Mexico or Brazil. USA coffee has, therefore, more acidity and cannot be brewed as strongly. It turns out more like a tea made of coffee beans rather than "real" coffee.
I will have to wait until I can find more Brustelo.
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I have had several people ask me about tha Franz Kohout waterpantings that I am using. I will eventually use all of the. However, if you would like to see all of the ones that I have, you can go to http://s110.photobucket.com/albums/n119/brazil_nut/Franz%20Kohout/ where I have uploaded all of them.